I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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