Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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