Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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