no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
