you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
