I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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