I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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