he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize