no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
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apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy