ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
what if I'm pregnant?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!