The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
