You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
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like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY