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• (303): View more from Colorado

  he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dibs.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.

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• (510): View more from California

  yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (415): View more from California

  so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  My penis needs a shock collar

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?

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• (206): View more from Washington

  After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.

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