I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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