So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
