did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She is in my trunk
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
