Apparently you make a good broom.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
