i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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