just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
