We're facebook friends in real life
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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