Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just tell him i said nine months
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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