I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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