Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
