Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
