Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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