thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kiss
Puke
No subtext here. People are naked.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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