this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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