16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
