I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
