Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
