Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
