She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
