the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize