Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
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My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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