I'm pants shitting drunk right now
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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