kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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