I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
