Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
