Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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