New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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