This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
