two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
