She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
