last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
