he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
