You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
