After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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