I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
