You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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