Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize