i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize