Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
