We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize