are you still at the devil's house?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
