my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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