I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
