my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You've changed since you got that strap on
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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