Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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