I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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