There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
love makes seman taste better
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
