You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize