He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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