help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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