is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
