Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My pussy is not your playground.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
