I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
