He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
