okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
