He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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