Sry I called you an 8
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
